The Colorful Parrot

Topotecan! The name reminds me of a colorful parrot.
Today I get Topotecan. And tomorrow. And the following two days as well. Topotecan four days in a row.

So, what is Topotecan, you ask?

In one word, chemo.

Yep, my ovarian cancer has recurred for the third time. I don't know why we call it "recurred" because it has never once left my body. Oh, the scans have shown "no evidence of disease" a couple times, but everyone knows the scans cannot pick up miniscule areas of the disease.

Those ovca cells lurk here and there until they are once again ready to proliferate. Proliferate. Sounds like warfare, doesn't it? Yeah, it's warfare, all right. The battlefield is my body and the guns are chemo drugs. We do battle after battle, using one drug or another. When one drug fails (runs out of ammo) we try the next one.

They work, you know. Those drugs work (for awhile). They're spewing deadly shots at those cancer cells. The problem is that some of my other body cells succumb to "friendly fire" causing all kinds of symptoms...baldness being the most observable and well-known. I used to have a lovely white bob. I'll never wear my hair that way again. Sigh!

Oh, I'm not complaining. These drugs are keeping me alive.

The "colorful parrot" is my fourth chemotherapy regimen. In three years' time I've "enjoyed" the benefit (and side-effects) of the following:

1. Carboplatin and paclitaxel (carbo/taxol) (Yep, bald!)
   
2. Carboplatin and paclitaxel and avastin followed by 10 months of avastin as a maintenance drug. (Yep! Bald again!)
3. Carboplatin and gemzar (Maintained my hair on this one!)
4. Now - Topotecan. (Thinning hair - really thinning!)

In the past three years I've had 6 months drug-free.

I'm a walking druggie! (hahahahahaha....sorry, not funny) Thankfully, I take very few prescription meds. I seldom use ibuprofen or tylenol, preferring to roll through the difficult times. They used to tell us that as kids...roll through the punches. That's what I do. I roll through them. I'd rather put up with discomfort (spelled p-a-i-n) than toss something else into the cocktail for my liver and kidneys to deal with.

I belong to an online forum of other ovarian cancer patients. Some use supplements. Some don't. Some eat organic foods only. Some enjoy their chocolate and the occasional glass of wine. Reading their stories it seems to me that whatever diet/supplements they use does have a placebo effect....but not much. And so I just try to eat in a healthy manner and avoid junk foods.

Today I begin cycle three of the colorful parrot and will receive four consecutive days of the drug. Because the drug does a number on my blood counts, on the fifth day I will receive a neulasta shot. That's a bone cruncher! What I mean is that in jump-starting the blood producing areas in the bones, the drug also causes bone pain. But thanks to my online ovarian friends I've learned that taking a claritin the day of and the day after the shot greatly reduces the flu-like symptoms that are side-effects of the neulasta.

The next few days I will experience fatigue and malaise and perhaps some dizziness (assuming this 3rd cycle will affect me as the first two have done). By this time next week I'll be moving back to "normal" and I will be "drug free" for three weeks until cycle four.

Is the parrot working? So far. My blood tumor marker is improving.

How long will it work? Given the experience of prior chemos I can guess maybe 6 months. And expect in 9 months to be doing my 5th regimen, using yet another drug. Doxil is the drug of choice by my Oncologist...but you know the story there....there is no doxil available. The manufacturers claim a problem at the plant. Sure! We believe anything they say! Sure! Sure!

All in all, this has been one interesting journey. As a Christian I believe that all our days are known by God before they ever happen. (Psalm 139:16). And I believe that God knows everything about us, even the number of hairs (that fall out) on our head. (Luke 12:7). I figure I'll leave all of this in God's hands.

I'll do the things I'm supposed to do. I get up each morning, toss my legs out over the side of the bed, and recognize that this day is another day that God has given me. I'm going to enjoy it to the utmost. And I do.

P.S. Don't you think that topotecan parrot, wearing his straw hat, looks a bit like my profile pic? hahahahaha

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Paul Did Not Use Google

Paul and his cohorts had no recourse to Google (nor Wikipedia for that matter). If he wanted to prove a point he had to produce eye-witnesses. Couldn't just look it up on the net. And so, when he wants to prove a point about the risen Christ, he reminds his readers that he is backed by well over 500 eye-witnesses.

Here's a short version of what he wrote to believers residing at Corinth.

He states that the risen Christ appeared (walked with, talked with) to:

• Peter
• the twelve disciples
• more than 500 brethren at one time (some who were still alive when Paul wrote this chapter and quite able and willing to testify of the same)
• James
• all the apostles
• to Paul himself

Paul is concerned that some of the believers do not believe in a bodily resurrection from the dead (for themselves, that is). Paul points out that if Christ has not risen from the dead then the following points are valid:

• there is no resurrection from the dead for us...when we die, we die. The End.
  
• it is pointless to preach Christ
• our faith in Christ is pointless
  
• what we proclaim as "truth" is mere "lie"
  
• those who have died have perished...there is no heaven

But Paul is saying that Christ Is Risen. And he has 500+ witnesses to that event. Then he points out the order and meaning of the fact of the risen Christ:

• Christ...the first to rise from the dead.
• In Adam (as descendants of Adam) we all die. None of us gets out of here alive.
• In Christ (joined to him by faith) we will be made alive.
• We get our resurrected bodies at his second advent (his second coming)

But we are not yet there. Death still takes each one of us. But the emphasis here is that Death itself will someday be done away with. There will come a time when there will be no more death! Verse 26 says it like this..."The last enemy that will be abolished is death."

You can read Paul's more plainly here. I Corinthians 15:3-28

And Paul's concluding thoughts here. I Cor. 15:54-55

Jesus came to undo the work of the devil. He came to undo the death that Adam's sin brought to all of us. He came to put an end to death. An end to death? How can there be better news than that? And, hey! That thing about Jesus undoing the work of the devil? You can hover your cursor over the following verses to read about that.
Hebrews 2:14
1 John 3:8

On Easter we celebrate Christ's victory over death on our behalf. In Adam we die. In Christ we live. The latter only because Christ Himself lives and has conquered death.

J.C. Ryle (a much better writer than I) put it this way....We need not wonder that so much importance is attached to our Lord’s resurrection. It is the seal and memorial stone of the great work of redemption, which He came to do. It is the crowning proof that He has paid the debt He undertook to pay on our behalf, won the battle He fought to deliver us from hell, and is accepted as our guarantee and our substitute by our Father in heaven. Had He never come forth from the prison of the grave, how could we ever have been sure that our ransom had been fully paid (1 Corinthians 15:17)? Had He never risen from His conflict with the last enemy, how could we have felt confident that He has overcome death – and him that had the power of death, that is the devil (Hebrews 2:14)? But thanks be unto God, we are not left in doubt. The Lord Jesus really rose again for our justification.

And so we live by faith.
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A String of Thoughts and a Concluding Rant

Friday in the chemo chair I visited with a breast cancer patient who lives up the road aways. My trip is a blessed two blocks. She has to drive 26 miles. But even so, she was grateful that we have a clinic so close by. And that they pamper us like crazy! Coffee and cookies! Lunch of choice! Cozy, home-town environment!

Ms. D and I had met a couple times before while we were doing blood draws, but this was our first "long" visit in the chair...although I did sleep much of the time and perhaps she did as well. (I hope I didn't snore!)

Ms. D, as I mentioned, is a breast cancer patient. She had both breasts removed simultaneously. Many BC patients choose to have reconstruction surgery. Remove 'em. Replace 'em. Sometimes one at a time. And sometimes with not one, but multiple surgeries. And Ms. D confided that, initially, this is what she thought she would do. And then she decided, "Nah, she didn't need 'em." Any surgery has its risks and potential complications. Any surgery is a blow to the body. And so she decided not. She's happily married. Her hubby is happy she's alive. She says a padded bra functions easily and nicely in regards to making her clothing fit well and look nice. (This is not meant as an argument against such surgery...I'm just stating Ms. D's decision and her reasons. And it seems perfectly reasonable to reconstruct when only one breast has been removed or even for emotional well-being! Having cancer is bad enough...it's nice to look and feel "normal", although "normal" never seems to arrive for most cancer patients...it's always on the mind. Always!)

Hers seemed like a sensible decision to me. Because I had thought about that...what if my cancer were BC instead of ovarian cancer? Would I choose reconstruction. And I reasoned, "Nah, I don't need 'em." In fact, I thought it might be a little freeing. (Oh, My, on my first try I typed freezing! Had to giggle about that one!)

You may wonder why I am mentioning all this.

It's like this. I was at the grocery store this morning, standing in the checkout line. There was the usual assortment of glitzy girly magazines. Photos of bikini girls on the cover. Every Cover!!!

And I thought to myself how sad it is that so many young women do not feel "womanly" unless they can blatantly display their womanly wares. And how sad it is that so many women feel they need breast augmentation in order to do so (display perfect womanly wares, that is). And how sad it is that at least 200,000 women feel the need to "perfect" their wares Every Year in this country. (This figure does not include those who have surgical reconstruction after cancer or accident.)

And I thought to myself...wow...what every photo here reveals is that every women has TWO. Count them! One! Two! And they all look alike (except for a couple really purposely oversized examples).

And then I thought about Mel Gibson's taped words wherein he accused his woman of being a rather slatternly woman. Wait a minute! Didn't he google her before moving her in? Didn't he know that she posed in scanty lingerie (and whatever other poses there may be out there...I was afraid to google beyond the lingerie photos!) Surely he didn't pick her out of a lineup of women whose daily attire consisted of denim jumpers, long skirts, long hair tied back into buns. He knew who she was before they got together! What's his complaint now!

And then I think about young mothers who insist on treating their young daughters as "little princess". A princess of inestimable physical beauty who is deserving of adulation from every family member...and then from every person outside the family, including every male within sight. Don't they know they're grooming her, setting her up to this un-idealistic idea of womanhood?

Whatever happened to teaching modesty and covering our children for their own protection from those who would like to do them harm? Don't we realize by now, after countless headlines, that there are perverts everywhere! Our daughters should not be taught to parade themselves in today's version of "body-baring-beauty" at such young age.

Okay. My mind is rambling here...from one topic to another. But I hope you will go to read my earlier post about protecting your children. Read it here.

(If I seem a bit rambly today...it's because this is my brain on chemo drugs. Tomorrow will be a different matter...I'll have crashed flat.)

Tossing and Turning and Words in the Wee Hours

It is a consistent thing in my life that in the wee hours of the morning, somewhere around 3:36 AM, I awaken. I glance at the clock. Sometimes it's 3:34 or 3:38. But I awaken consistently within a ten-minute time frame. And when it is the later time I note that I have been tossing and resisting the awakening.

I don't know why. It's not train time. There are several trains that go through town during the night with most of them hauling Wyoming coal to the power plant up near the city. Trains with coal cars that are sometimes decorated with graffiti. Colorful graffiti probably painted by gang members and so even though it is colorful I try not to admire it too much. (Am I the only one who cannot read what they are writing?)

Early this morning, while lying awake, I was thinking of several things, several people, saying prayers, reciting Scripture in my head. And one of the verses that popped into my head was this one:

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. Hebrews 11:6

Surely, with the splendid awesomeness of our natural world, one's mind must be drawn to the fact of a Creator. Something cannot come from nothing. Even the most astute scientist cannot say something comes from nothing...although I have not spoken to that man, whoever he may be, so perhaps he might try to explain how something CAN come from nothing. But I bet not. The science world always explains how things were created from SOMEthing.

But to my way of thinking there has to be something before "the beginning". Something outside of us. Something beyond us. And so I believe in a Creator God and I believe in Him as explained in the Bible.

This verse talks about the man who wishes to draw near to God and that he must first believe that there is God and secondly that God rewards those who seek Him.

I want to say that this "reward" is not the reward as promised by the "health, wealth, and prosperity" gospel, that promise of some famous or infamous TV preachers that if you send in your seed money of $58 or $75 or $15 and promise to do so monthly that you will reap a great financial harvest. It seems to me there is an aura of "Gimme" in their words. Doesn't it seem funny that they always want you to send your money to THEM and not to your LOCAL church or even, indeed, to the local FOOD PANTRY or even to a family member who is losing their home.

The promise of those things (riches now) is of too short duration. In fact Jesus tells his disciples (and all followers) they will undergo suffering and persecution in life. (John 16:33) Life on this earth is hard. There is not a single solitary soul who escapes the trauma, the tragedy, the loss of loved ones, the struggle just to survive and to make life a decent place for self and family. Yes, there are days and seasons of "good". But we all go through the tough seasons as well. (And since suffering hits all, we should be compassionate to others in their time of need.)

Now I do believe that God does indeed bless us with the things of "here and now" with each of us being blessed in different ways. Our forebears certainly were not blessed with the knowledgeable medical care that we have available. Nor did they have such comfy homes as we have, with dishwashers, laundry machines, warm furnaces, and hot water available at the spigot.

Even in my life time, as a child, we never went to the doctor unless our temperature hit 104 and that was only because Mom knew that having a fever that high or higher could cause brain damage.

Even in my lifetime we lived in homes with no electricity or inside plumbing and using an outdoor facility called an "outhouse".

Even in this lifetime many around the world live in poverty and starvation and joblessness and you name it. I challenge you to preach to them the health, wealth, and prosperity gospel and tell them to "name it and claim it". I hope they boot you out the door, if they have a door through which to boot you.

No, the rewards of this lifetime may simply be existing another day. And sometimes that is the prayer of the day..."Give us this day our daily bread."

I've come to believe that when the writer of Hebrews wrote "that he rewards those who seek him" that the reward spoken of does include the things of now, the "daily bread"", the things I need now to live through the day. It includes peace of mind in the midst of good and bad. But more importantly, it includes an eternal reward, a knowledge that there is more to this life than the "now", that eternal life (which begins now.. see John 5:24) awaits those who have faith in the Creator God and what He has provided us through Christ's dying for our sins... forgiveness, salvation, justification, and the robe of righteousness that we will wear when we stand before the throne of judgment.

That verse, Hebrews 11:6, is short but it is powerful to the one who reads and hears.

The photo? A small reminder of the creative power of God. My granddaughter took this photo in Oregon last week. Thanks, Mel!

When You Walk Through the Fire...

I got an email today. From a dear friend. A friend whom I met through and because of our both having cancer. We are plain spoken with each other. We don't beat around the bush. Dealing with cancer is too serious to make fluff out of it. And so we talk to each other. Plain and up front.

My friend is barely a year past her first diagnosis. I'm still well under a year. But we're in the same boat, waiting for our next scans, hoping they will be "clean" and "no change". By now we've educated ourselves to know the nuances of certain terminology...words like "tumor markers" or "areas of activity". We're watchful. We're listening. We're worried. We know that the good news of this week's tests are not a definitive thing. We know that cancer cells can still be lurking, ready to begin again their aggressive growth. We know that time is a factor here...it won't be until we have had good tests for a long period of time, for years, that we can sit back and rest easy.

I think I have a positive attitude about all of this. I don't bemoan my fate. I have not gone into depression. But on the other hand, I never have professed the attitude that some cancer patients have...that "I'm gonna kick cancer's ass!". Oh, Yeah! Sez Who? Cancer is a war zone. And there is shrapnel all around us.

As a Christian I know that God knows my days...all my days...all my future days. Cancer is not a surprise to Him. And if He is the powerful God that the Bible teaches that He is, then if He really wanted to, He could cure me of my cancer right now. And if He doesn't, then all I can surmise is that God has purpose in all of this. Purpose for my ultimate good. Purpose for His ultimate glory.

Merely because we are Christians does not mean life will be a bed of roses. Nor does it mean that I will live with good health to my genetically determined 90 years, and die peacefully of a heart attack in my sleep.

Look at Jesus' first disciples. If these men were the epitome of what it means to be a follower of Christ, then shouldn't they have had lives that ran smooth, went well? Comfortable lives that ended in old age? Wouldn't you think that at least they should have been rewarded for their faith and their unwavering work in spreading the gospel to the early church? And yet, only one of them, John, lived to old age. And John endured imprisonment for his faith. The other ten died martyrs deaths. Killed by the sword, by stoning, by spear, by being thrown off the temple.

And why? Wouldn't it seem plausible to our earthly way of thinking that if they had lived highly successful lives, protected at every turn, shielded at all times from any difficulty, wouldn't that have promoted the spread of Christianity more than the other?

And wouldn't it seem equally plausible (to our way of thinking) that God could impress a lot of unbelievers if He caused the lives of all His people to prosper, to live disease-free, to suffer none of what unbelievers suffer? Wouldn't that be a good way to impress upon unbelievers that it is a good and profitable thing to trust in God?

But we see things in terms of our own thinking. We do not see the secret purposes of God. And it is He who has purposed and ordained all aspects of our lives. Psalm 139:16 David says this: "....And in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them."

In the purposes of God, our lives do have purpose, just as did the lives of the Disciples. We don't know all the secret purposes of God in our own lives. We don't know all that He is working out. But He will work. And He will love. And He will move us along the path of life that He has chosen for us. It is, after all, His grand story; we are only minor parts of His story. We can't always see the grandness of it all. Now we see only parts of His eternal plan. As if we are seeing it in a dark mirror. Dimly.

Paul tells the Corinthians, "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known." (I Cor. 13:12)

In Paul's time, a mirror was dim and hazy. Not sharp as in the mirrors we use today. He compared our understanding of eternity to that dim vision. We can only see and understand all of this "eternity" thing dimly. But then, when we are there, we will see face to face. We will know fully.

So now, in this struggle with cancer (or heart, or diabetes, or terrible accident, or birth defect, you name the struggle, it's the same), we see God working in us. We question, we struggle, we move forward in fear, pushing one reluctant heavy foot in front of the other, going to bed at night and wondering about our upcoming blood tests and scans, etc. And we bow down to Him, knowing that He is in control, even of this.

It is a grand journey we are on. And we travel in grand company. And our job while we're traveling is to encourage one another, to cheer each other onward. Keep moving forward. And with each step we look up, amazed that we are given the strength to take another step forward towards the prize. He refines us, causing us to walk through fire.

Isaiah 43:2,3 "....Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you....."

In my flesh, I want to live to 90, healthy all the way, and keel over on the last day from a heart-attack. Happy and long life. No suffering. No pain. Instant death. That's my idea of how my life should go.

And yet, that is likely not the road that God has for me. I have to get my mind off my vision of my road and focus on the unknown road ahead of me. Then I can rejoice in God's providence, his provision, for me. As long as I struggle to stay on my own idea of what my road should be, I struggle against God Himself. I have to quit struggling. I have to recognize that THIS road is the one God has ordained for me. I have to travel THIS road and not the road I would choose. And know that when I walk through the fire, I will be safe under His protection.

My friend is right...it is a strange place we are at. But isn't it a grand place! Haven't we learned so much this past year! Haven't we cried and wept and prayed and struggled with God! (Reminds me of Jacob wrestling with God in the Old Testament). And won't we have a story to tell, our little story, when we are united in eternity! All of our little stories woven together into the grand story of God's dealings with His creatures and of His loving kindness in redeeming us from sin and death.

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There Is A Certainty About His Work

Reading these verses today and savoring them.

John 6:37-40 (Jesus speaking)
37 All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and whoever comes to Me I will never cast out.
38 For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will but the will of Him who sent Me.
39 And this is the will of Him who sent Me, that I should lose nothing of all that He has given Me, but raise it up on the last day.
40 For this is the will of My Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in Him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.

Part of what I like about these verses is the certainty expressed in the words. Those whom the Father gives to the Son WILL come to the Son. And the Son will never lose them. They belong to the Son because THE FATHER HAS GIVEN them to Him. And everyone that the Father gives to the Son WILL HAVE eternal life. There is a certainty expressed here that cannot be overlooked. And the certainty is this....the work is of the Father and of the Son and NOT of ourselves! Those who come to the Son do so because the Father has ordained that they do so. And they come because God draws them (John 6:44,45) and they love the Father and the Son because of such a good and great gift...eternal life through Christ Jesus.

Day 57 and 500 Witnesses

It is now Day 57 post chemo and I am sporting a crop of puppy fur. Soft. Even. White. Puppy fur. (click photo for a closer view)

But, hey, I'm happy. I'm feeling well. I'm still on the clinical trial and will continue receiving Avastin (or placebo) every 3 weeks for another 20 sessions. Avastin has no effect on the hair and minimal side-effects. The puppy fur will thicken and become normal hair again. Soon. Day after tomorrow. Or the next. I'm counting the days.

Looking back I remember the chemo as hitting me hard. Not as hard as the debulking surgery and the resultant hospital days. But hard. Looking back I think if I had to do this again I could do it. (Of course, I never suffered the nausea that so many do, so I'm not sure I want to risk another time if it means nausea! I really would rather not go there!)

It may seem rather weird, but in spite of the unknowns that cancer brings, I'm glad that I've been where I've been. I'm glad. Because it was good for me. Cancer forced me to take a good long look at Death.

There were many nights when I lay in bed and contemplated what cancer might mean in regards to my future. A couple years? Five years? Ten? Would there be pain? Early Death? There were numerous nights when all the possible worst-case scenarios marched through my head. The chemo can knock you low. But the thinking can knock you lower.

I let myself look at all the negatives, all the dread outcomes. Then I had to set them aside, one by one, all my worries, my concerns, my fears. I had to set them aside and return to the hope that we have in Christ. I was forced to look at my faith. That was hard to do because at the moment, in the midst of it all, the cancer seems the most real thing. It took deliberate discipline to set it all aside and to bring my fear and to bow down humbly before the throne of God. And to bow down in gratitude that Christ has conquered death for us. Thanks be to God that we need not fear death.

It is in I Corinthians 15 where Paul speaks of the resurrection to the believers in Corinth. He reminds them once again of the gospel...that Christ died for our sins...that He was buried...and He was raised on the third day (I Cor. 15:3-4). The key issue is the risen Christ for, as Paul says, if Christ is not risen then there will be no resurrection for us!

And so Paul brings out the evidence...that the risen Christ appeared to Peter, then to the disciples, then to more than 500 brethren at one time, then to James, then to the rest of the apostles, and lastly to himself. (I Cor. 15:5-8).

Folks, that's a lot of witnesses. Put 500 people on the witness stand in any courtroom and your case is won! The verdict will be unanimous. And the jury will have its decision in about two minutes.

Move forward to I Cor. 15:20-26 where Paul points out that while in Adam (as sinners) we die, yet in Christ (as His people) we will be made alive.Then beginning with verse 42, Paul explains the resurrection.

Paul concludes with this, "But when this perishable (this physical dying body) will have put on the imperishable (our bodies made new), and this mortal (subject to death) will have put on immortality (no longer subject to death), then will come about the saying that is written, 'Death is swallowed up in victory.' 'O Death, where is your victory? O Death, where is your sting?'" (I Cor. 15:54-55)

Death does not hold tight those who belong to Christ...any more than it was able to hold Christ Himself. Because He lives, we will also live.

Thanks be to God.
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Due to Consumer Demand This is a Reprint

When I check the statistics on my blog I find that a number of visitors have googled something akin to "is it safe to kiss babies on the lips". So, in case you have not read this post, here it is again.

The Dangers of Lip Synch - Or Please Listen to Your Grandmother

Lip Synch? That's about singing, isn't it? Well....yes. But this post is not about singing...it's about kissing. And more to the point it's about teaching your children to NOT kiss! At least to Not kiss on the Lips.

When I was small we visited my grandparents maybe 4 or 5 times a year and the "goodbye" at the end of each visit meant an obligatory kiss on the cheek. Since Grandpa was old and whiskery and gruff and had a full bushy white mustache, this was an intimidating prospect. Grandma wasn't much less intimidating...she was such a quiet person and busy with household tasks and did not laugh and sing with us. She was an old woman, stooped and bent, not the happily interactive Gramma of today. But at the end of each visit we dutifully allowed them to give us a quick kiss on the cheek which we surreptiously wiped away with our shirt sleeve.

We were never asked to kiss an adult on the lips. However, we did have one relative who insisted on a goodbye lip kiss. I hated that. Lip kisses are never dry. For a small child that is a bit Uuuuugh! And I am convinced that the cold sores (fever blisters) that I suffered with for years were a result of those kisses.

What is my point, you ask? I am dismayed that today's young parents actively teach their infants and toddlers to give a quick buss on the lips. It's cute! Little Baby learns quickly and Mommy and Baby laugh together as Baby kisses on request. Believe me, you can get just as much fun out of teaching Baby to kiss you on the cheek! Do It! Forgo the Lip Kiss!

Here's my take on it. First...kissing on the lips should be relegated to the appropriate time of life. (I hope you are conservative in teaching your children about what is "appropriate".) Kissing on the lips is a sexualizing thing...how do you teach your infant or toddler it is appropriate to kiss this person and not that person? (We have a friend whose 5-year-old has been reprimanded by the school for kissing his classmates! And now Dad and Mom have to tell him that kissing is not appropriate on the school grounds!)

Secondly, kissing on the lips does run a minor risk of transmitting STDs such as herpes...not to mention transmitting colds and viruses. You can click here or here to read more about that...the risk is minimal, but it is still a risk. Are you willing to consider that risk to be so minimal as to not worry about it?

Thirdly, how do you know that the third cousin on your mother's side who happens to be visiting your home for the week is not a potential/active offender? A high percentage of child molestation is perpetrated by someone in the household, whether friend or family. Do not offer up your child as a willing/unwilling participant in a kissing game!

As Mom and Dad, you are the protector of your children. Be Wise!

This is your Grandmother speaking!

The Dangers of Lip Synch - Or Please Listen to Your Grandmother

Lip Synch? That's about singing, isn't it? Well....yes. But this post is not about singing...it's about kissing. And more to the point it's about teaching your children to NOT kiss! At least to Not kiss on the Lips.

When I was small we visited my grandparents maybe 4 or 5 times a year and the "goodbye" at the end of each visit meant an obligatory kiss on the cheek. Since Grandpa was old and whiskery and gruff and had a full bushy white mustache, this was an intimidating prospect. Grandma wasn't much less intimidating...she was such a quiet person and busy with household tasks and did not laugh and sing with us. She was an old woman, stooped and bent, not the happily interactive Gramma of today. But at the end of each visit we dutifully allowed them to give us a quick kiss on the cheek which we surreptiously wiped away with our shirt sleeve.

We were never asked to kiss an adult on the lips. However, we did have one relative who insisted on a goodbye lip kiss. I hated that. Lip kisses are never dry. For a small child that is a bit Uuuuugh! And I am convinced that the cold sores (fever blisters) that I suffered with for years were a result of those kisses.

What is my point, you ask? I am dismayed that today's young parents actively teach their infants and toddlers to give a quick buss on the lips. It's cute! Little Baby learns quickly and Mommy and Baby laugh together as Baby kisses on request. Believe me, you can get just as much fun out of teaching Baby to kiss you on the cheek! Do It! Forgo the Lip Kiss!

Here's my take on it. First...kissing on the lips should be relegated to the appropriate time of life. (I hope you are conservative in teaching your children about what is "appropriate".) Kissing on the lips is a sexualizing thing...how do you teach your infant or toddler it is appropriate to kiss this person and not that person? (We have a friend whose 5-year-old has been reprimanded by the school for kissing his classmates! And now Dad and Mom have to tell him that kissing is not appropriate on the school grounds!)

Secondly, kissing on the lips does run a minor risk of transmitting STDs such as herpes...not to mention transmitting colds and viruses. You can click here or here to read more about that...the risk is minimal, but it is still a risk. Are you willing to consider that risk to be so minimal as to not worry about it?

Thirdly, how do you know that the third cousin on your mother's side who happens to be visiting your home for the week is not a potential/active offender? A high percentage of child molestation is perpetrated by someone in the household, whether friend or family. Do not offer up your child as a willing/unwilling participant in a kissing game!

As Mom and Dad, you are the protector of your children. Be Wise!

This is your Grandmother speaking!

Words and Hometown Headlines

A couple days ago I read a blog where the writer complained bitterly about sister and parents. And I've recently read blogs where complaints and criticisms were aimed at spouses or other family members.

I'd like to make this suggestion to help you avoid embarrassment just in case your family members, friends or coworkers know where to find you on the web. (You can call it a "rule" if you want to...but some folks rebel against "rules", so let's call it a suggestion instead. You can take it or leave it, makes no matter to me.)

Here it is...

Think Twice before making nasty or critical comments about friends, or family or fellow employees on your blog. You are not quite as anonymous behind your computer screen as you might think and words cast out into the wild beyond may come back to haunt you.

To adapt an old adage our grandmothers used to use, "If you wouldn't want to see your words on the front page of the local newspaper, don't post it on the web." (That applies also to those unmentionable photos of yourself that you really wouldn't want your grandmother to see....just moments before she's taken to the hospital with a heart attack!)

Sure, most of us need to vent now and then. And perhaps you have someone about whom you really, really need to unload before you explode. So if that is the case, pull up a new word doc on your PC, type out all your anger, your angst, your anguish. Read it through twice (or thrice if you're really steaming).

Then hit Delete.

You will not be sorry.

Did You Ever Notice the "Green?"

So many products are listed as "green" these days. Many makers of clothing, personal care items, and others tell us that they are "green" stores or carry "green" products. In other words they claim their items were produced in a manner not harmful to the environment (the rain forests or other current environmental focus). It's as if they are telling you that their products are somehow more moral than the products of their competitor. (Methinks they have an ulterior motive...hoping that the consumer will prefer THEIR product because of its green label. It translates to "profit".)

I have no problem with "green". After all, God told Adam and Eve to tend the garden, to oversee Creation, to take care of the Created Earth. We are to be wise stewards, good caretakers, responsible citizens of this Created Earth. So I agree that "green" is good. Nothing wrong with "green". Nothing wrong whatever with taking care of this Created Earth.

But I wonder when those who appear to be so diligently concerned about the earth and all that it holds...I wonder if they would so gladly accept a label that indicates a product has not violated the rights of the thousands of preborn being aborted daily in this nation.

Sadly abortion is one of those issues where pro-abortion people use one fallacious argument or another to defend their viewpoint. Read this one that I copied from the net this morning...and I quote...

"Do you kill spiders in your home? Those are living too! Do you kill weeds at your home? Those are living too! Come on now, lets be consistant! And like you, I will fight to keep the right to keep my body mine and until you want to support MY Body, then back off!!!!

How ridiculous is that argument!? Using her own argument, one might argue right back...Since we kill living things such as spiders and weeds, what problem is there in killing each other...at any age, at any time, for any reason?

Sadly, there are TWO people involved in an abortion, two bodies, two lives. One insists she has the right to do with her life as she pleases. At the same time she insists that the second person has no voice in the matter. Under current civil law, she is correct. Under moral law, she is dead wrong (no pun intended). How can you argue for a "right" for one person without advocating a "right" for the other? Do only certain human beings have rights?

I am speaking as an older woman. I've made plenty of mistakes in life. I've accumulated plenty of my own sins. I am not sin free. So when I speak, I speak kindly and with truth. I say this...for readers who may have experienced abortion, do not be afraid to look at this issue in blinding truth. Stop believing the false arguments. Stop believing the lies. Be of great courage and look at the truth straight on. And then go to God in deep prayer, asking forgiveness. Our Beloved Lord is faithful and just to forgive. He died on our behalf in order that he CAN forgive.

John 12:46 "I have come as Light (truth) into the world, so that everyone who believes in Me will not remain in darkness (untruth)."
I John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

P.S. I'll bet many, a majority, of pro-choice people would angrily lobby against animal shelters who might abort kittens and puppies. And I'll bet any farmer knows that the calf his cow is carrying in her belly is, indeed, a real live calf and not a worthless blob of flesh. If the farmer aborted calves on the premise he could sell the cow for meat, there would be an uprising amongst the animal rights people. How contradictory is that!
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Things I No Longer Buy or Consume

Recently I was thinking about Jell-o. I don't know why. It just crossed my mind. It's been years since I've bought a box of Jell-o. Click here to see where gelatin comes from and why I have a difficult time considering it "food". The process makes this a very un-yummy "food" to my way of thinking.

That made me think of a number of other things I no longer buy. Here's a short list.

Crisco - Ugh! Read here about the history of Crisco. This site calls it the "quintessential imitation food". I haven't quite figured out how an imitation food can be so high in calories but there it is. These days I generally cook with olive oil and in very small amounts. I seldom make cookies anymore and when I do, the recipe I use calls for oil, not for solid fats. I keep butter on hand for special times when I need a "solid" fat or want the buttery flavor. I don't over-use it, but I figure it HAS to be more healthy than the quintessential imitation food.

Pre-Decorated Birthday Cakes - the kinds you buy at the big super grocery stores. The cake itself I can tolerate even though I recognize that it is baked from the most unhealthy ingredients. But the frosting!!! It tastes like Crisco! Or worse, an ugly imitation of Crisco. Do I ever bake cakes? Yes, and usually from a box. But I make my own frosting using powdered sugar and a dab of butter. Healthy? Well, it's not classified with veggies and fruits in regards to nutrition, but at least it is less artery clogging that that purchased, over-colored, ugly spread they call frosting. Here's a suggestion - if you HAVE to buy a pre-decorated cake, go down to the local Dairy Queen and buy an ice-cream cake. It may not be super-super-healthy, but it's a whole lot better than this.

Liverwurst - I quit buying this one in 1968 when I noticed the ingredients included "pork snouts". Yes, I really want to eat the noses of pigs.

Hotdogs - Similar reasons to Liverwurst.

Deli-salads - the kind made with lots and lots of mayonnaise or imitation mayonnaise. I don't care if they've put it in the case barely an hour ago, it LOOKS as if it has been there three days. I don't generally keep foods more than three days in my own fridge! Why would I want to buy something that already looks past its time?

Fosomax - Read here to see why I'm happy I stopped taking this bone-density drug three years ago.

Ciggies - This one speaks for itself. It's been twenty years since I quit ciggiebutts and it was an excellent decision! I could jump for joy about this one!

My list could include numerous other things as well, but today is Tuesday, and Tuesdays are busy days or me.
Also, a disclaimer, I hold no personal grudge against any of these products or their makers...I simply choose not to use or consume based on personal reasons. You, on the other hand, have to make your own decisions. And I hope Liverwurst is not your very favorite sandwich fixin'.

She said with a smile.
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NEVER, EVER GIVE THEM YOUR NUMBER!

I'm thinking back on a previous post about debit card and credit card fraud that we experienced first hand. At the time I googled the name of the guilty so-called company and found it listed under several similar-sounding names (be sure to read my previous post!). I have some additional thoughts to share with you.

First...if someone calls you and asks for your bank account number DON'T GIVE IT TO THEM! Ditto with your credit card numbers. Admittedly, you may have times when YOU initiate the phone call to make a purchase and give your account number. But if THEY call YOU, never give them any identifying information. (I'm even skeptical about so-called surveys and generally decline such requests by callers.)

Secondly, if you've been scammed, do something about it -- like NOW -- call your bank and/or your credit card company, whichever is appropriate. Also, report the loss to your local police AND to your State Attorney General's office (google will help you out there).

Third, NEVER agree to purchase magazines over the telephone. A friend succumbed to the International Reader's League of Atlanta some time back and their bank account was accessed on a monthly basis for magazines they neither wanted nor read. It was not a simple procedure to cancel the magazines. Again, if this happens to you, contact your State Attorney General's office for help.

Fourth, you can stop those annoying telemarketers by responding "Please take my number off your calling list." Don't answer their questions. Don't talk to them at all. Simply state "Please take my number off your calling list." By law they have to do so. Oh, they may call you another time or two until your name disappears from the lists of the guy sitting next to the first guy, but they do have to cease calling. AND you can stop future telemarketers from calling you by registering your phone number at the National Do Not Call Registry. It may take 30 days for the calls to stop, but they will eventually stop.

Fifth, carefully scan your bank and credit card statements each month. Perhaps you don't think you need to reconcile your statements as long as you know the approximate balance. However, you DO need to watch to be sure someone does not take money from your account without your authorization. Again, I suggest you read my previous post on this topic. If you do, you can quickly return to this page by clicking on the blog title at the top of the page.

Sixth, if you believe some crook has taken funds from your bank or credit card, use Google or Yahoo to search for the name to see if the business is legitimate or a scam.

And, hey, go here for more info on telemarketer fraud.

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Set Your Mirrors Properly and You Won't Have to Deal With Blind Spots

Click here for a quick reference on how to set your car mirrors so as to eliminate that blind spot while driving on the freeway.

My siblings and I grew up in the Fifties/Sixties on a farm ten miles from town on a gravel road. Drivers of that era used their rear-view mirrors AND their side mirrors to see what was BEHIND them. I had no idea that the mirrors could be adjusted for freeway driving in a way that would make that nightmare experience a breeze.

Then I read how to PROPERLY set my door mirrors. Click on the link in my first sentence to read how to set your mirrors so that you can safely drive down the highway, using your mirrors to be assured you can move safely from one lane to the next without having to constantly turn and glance over your shoulder. If your mirrors are adjusted correctly, a car coming up behind you will appear in your center mirror (the one on the windshield). As the car passes you it leaves that mirror and will appear in your left (or right) mirror. And as it leaves that mirror it will appear in your peripheral vision (it doesn't hurt to glance slightly to the side at this point).

It took a few days of practice to begin trusting the mirrors but this revolutionized my driving experience. If you do a lot of highway driving and you have not learned this method, do it now. You will begin driving frantic freeway traffic with a lot less stress.
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Today's Word of Wisdom for The Lady of the House (or Whoever Does the Dishes)!

Wow! I was on a rant last night, wasn't I? Even though my mood has mellowed this morning I still stand behind every word of the Shark rant!

And my word of wisdom for today? Use a Clean Dishcloth on a Daily Basis to Stay Healthy!

I love my dishwasher. When we remodeled our home I cut corners elsewhere in order to install a high-end dishwasher that is so silent I can hardly hear it running. Our previous dishwasher sounded like a jet plane taking off from O'Hare. Silence is Golden, even in dishwashers. (big grin here)

However, I use a dish cloth to wipe counters, to swish out a slightly soiled dish, to wipe down the cutting board. The important thing to remember is that BACTERIA love a dirty dishrag. The best way to avoid bacteria (think food poisoning here!) is to change cloths (not clothes, although you can do that, too, if you wish) daily.

I buy those cheap packages of a dozen wash cloths. You know, the thin cheap ones. I like my dish cloths thin. They're easy to fold once and slip into the dish towel drawer. Each morning simply grab a new cloth and you are ready for a spic-and-span day.
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A Rant About Sharks and Dangerous Things

Pardon me while I go on a rant. I'm a Grandmother and certain things irk me!

I saw it again today. Two little neighbor girls playing outdoors in the skimpiest of bikinis. Their brothers were wearing knee-length trousers and tee-shirts. The girls were almost un-clothed in comparison.

Don't you know that you parents are the ones who are causing your young daughters to be sexualized at a young age?! You are in charge! You are responsible! And since you ARE in charge and you ARE responsible I have a question to ask you!

Why is it that parents of young girls allow their daughters to wear the skimpiest of strings to the swimming pool while at the same time the young boys are wearing swim trunks almost long enough to cover their knees? Boys are dressing like little boys while your little girls are dressing like some Hollywood femme fatale. Don't you have a clue that eyes are watching your young female children?

You think I'm old-fashioned, don't you! Just because I'm old enough to have gray hair (actually it's white) you think I'm too old to have a clue about anything "young".

Well, here's my viewpoint about scantily clad young girls. And unclothed boys and girls, too, for I've seen you parading your unclothed toddlers for hours at the beach as if you are proclaiming loudly how liberated you are from today's mores and admonishing the rest of us for our judgmental attitudes. All the while you blithely ignore that amongst the rest of the beach crowd there are perverts gleefully voyeuring your unclothed or under-clothed child whom you are supposed to be protecting. And while you are reveling in the beauty of your young offspring romping in the sunshine, your child is within range of the local beach cabins where some pervert is likely to be using his telescope lens to create himself a little movie video for later enjoyment.

My viewpoint? Put some clothes on them! Teach your daughters that modesty is appropriate whenever she is in public. Little boys seem to know that. You don't see THEM wearing skimpy bikinis, do you? Remember that you are the protector. There are human sharks out there and it is your job to be on guard. So do your job!

This is a Grandmother speaking!
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Debit Card Fraud Hits Home

The identity thieves must be out in full force. Last week I helped one relative change their checking account at their bank because some thief had accessed the account on a monthly basis for quite some time. This week OUR checking account had an unauthorized electronic withdrawal.

Our bank was extremely helpful, walking us through the process of setting up a new account (with new account number) and helping us change all of our authorized bill-payments to utilities, insurance companies, mortgage, etc., to our new account. They will continue to monitor our account until all is well again.

The bank told us that Our Problem began when we used a debit card at a local restaurant. Someone associated with the restaurant stole debit card numbers of the customers and sold them to a Scoundrel who began drawing money from people's checking accounts. You can read about this local scam here.

Surprisingly, someone can easily steal your money. But more surprisingly, the bank cannot tell you WHICH restaurant was associated with the theft, nor WHO the person was who actually got your money. This has to do with our "privacy laws". Now how intelligent is that? Someone steals money from me and I am not allowed to know who it is?

The electronic withdrawal that was listed on our statement did have a (flaky) name and a phone number. The phone is answered with an answering machine which suggests we visit their website. The website, of course, turns out to be fake. No contact info there. Nothing. Nada.

My advice to everyone! Check your bank statements (and your credit card statements) on a monthly basis. If you don't recognize an item, find the toll-free number on the statement and double-check with the bank or your credit card company.

Credit card companies generally (perhaps not always, depending on the card company) are liable for unauthorized use.

The bank, however, is an entirely different matter. They may refund you any loss that you report within sixty days. But they may not always be as helpful as our bank was in remedying the situation so that the Crook can't dig into our bank account again and again and again. (Ours was accessed twice by this Crook!)

And if you don't bother to review your bank statements on a regular basis, and suddenly find that some Crook has been digging into your account for two years, just consider the money a total loss. But don't give up without first writing a letter to the fraud department at your bank and reporting your loss to your State Attorney General's office.
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Him and Me? He and I? It's Easy As Pie!

It's been decades since I studied grade school grammar and I'll admit that my own grammar is not always correct. However, the misuse of pronouns when talking about "him and me" is rampant. There is a simple rule that makes it easy to determine whether to use "I" or "me".

First of all, when speaking of another person and yourself always mention the other person first, i.e., "him and me", or "he and I". Never "I and he", or "me and him". It is proper (and polite) to refer to the other person first just as it is polite to allow the other person to walk through a door first. It's simply courteous as well as grammatically correct.

Secondly, when speaking of yourself and another person, there are times to use "me" and times to use "I".

Here's an easy test to determine when to use "I" and when to use "me". Simply remove "he and" or "him and" from your sentence and you will automatically know whether to use "I" or "me". It's easy as pie.

Examples:
My mother gave him and me a sandwich. (My mother gave ... ... me a sandwich.)
He and I drove down to the beach. (... ... I drove down to the beach.)
Look at this photo of him and me. (Look at this photo of ... ... me.)
We ate lunch and then he and I left. (We ate lunch and then .. ... I left.)

Please don't get me started on the verbs "lie" and "lay". For the proper use of "lie, lay, lain" or "lay, laid, laid" go to this website. It's easier to give you a link than to try to explain it myself. (Said with a wink and a smile).

My spouse is clamoring for breakfast. I'll go make oatmeal for him and me. Later, after lunch, I'll lie down for a nap.
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How Difficult Is It Anyway????

Looking for an easy pattern to make a slip cover for a cylinder-shaped pillow I typed in the words "how to make" in google. I already know how to do that...I've been sewing for fifty years...but here I am, in front of my computer, and I couldn't resist the google thing. The first site on google's list was "how to make a bed". Stunned that someone needs instructions on how to make a bed I check out the site. (If your mother had been doing her job, you would have learned how to do this before age ten and would not need to learn now at the ripe old age of 19-and-living-on-your-own.)

The instructions (for the ignoramuses of housekeeping) suggest using a "hospital corner" at the foot of the bed when placing the top sheet in place. There were no illustrations on how to make a hospital corner. (Yes, I know how to make a hospital corner and I don't need an illustration.) However, anyone who NEEDS to read instructions on HOW to make a bed just MAY need an illustration on how to make a hospital corner at the foot of the bed. That is, IF they want to be that precise in making their bed.

Anyone who does NOT wish to be that meticulous can simply smooth the sheets, pull up the bedcovers, plump the pillows, tuck your jammies under the pillow. Now how difficult is that? And if you've read it here, you won't have to do a google to learn how to make your bed.

Go make your bed. This is a Mother speaking.