Saturday, July 10, 2010

A String of Thoughts and a Concluding Rant

Friday in the chemo chair I visited with a breast cancer patient who lives up the road aways. My trip is a blessed two blocks. She has to drive 26 miles. But even so, she was grateful that we have a clinic so close by. And that they pamper us like crazy! Coffee and cookies! Lunch of choice! Cozy, home-town environment!

Ms. D and I had met a couple times before while we were doing blood draws, but this was our first "long" visit in the chair...although I did sleep much of the time and perhaps she did as well. (I hope I didn't snore!)

Ms. D, as I mentioned, is a breast cancer patient. She had both breasts removed simultaneously. Many BC patients choose to have reconstruction surgery. Remove 'em. Replace 'em. Sometimes one at a time. And sometimes with not one, but multiple surgeries. And Ms. D confided that, initially, this is what she thought she would do. And then she decided, "Nah, she didn't need 'em." Any surgery has its risks and potential complications. Any surgery is a blow to the body. And so she decided not. She's happily married. Her hubby is happy she's alive. She says a padded bra functions easily and nicely in regards to making her clothing fit well and look nice. (This is not meant as an argument against such surgery...I'm just stating Ms. D's decision and her reasons. And it seems perfectly reasonable to reconstruct when only one breast has been removed or even for emotional well-being! Having cancer is bad's nice to look and feel "normal", although "normal" never seems to arrive for most cancer's always on the mind. Always!)

Hers seemed like a sensible decision to me. Because I had thought about that...what if my cancer were BC instead of ovarian cancer? Would I choose reconstruction. And I reasoned, "Nah, I don't need 'em." In fact, I thought it might be a little freeing. (Oh, My, on my first try I typed freezing! Had to giggle about that one!)

You may wonder why I am mentioning all this.

It's like this. I was at the grocery store this morning, standing in the checkout line. There was the usual assortment of glitzy girly magazines. Photos of bikini girls on the cover. Every Cover!!!

And I thought to myself how sad it is that so many young women do not feel "womanly" unless they can blatantly display their womanly wares. And how sad it is that so many women feel they need breast augmentation in order to do so (display perfect womanly wares, that is). And how sad it is that at least 200,000 women feel the need to "perfect" their wares Every Year in this country. (This figure does not include those who have surgical reconstruction after cancer or accident.)

And I thought to every photo here reveals is that every women has TWO. Count them! One! Two! And they all look alike (except for a couple really purposely oversized examples).

And then I thought about Mel Gibson's taped words wherein he accused his woman of being a rather slatternly woman. Wait a minute! Didn't he google her before moving her in? Didn't he know that she posed in scanty lingerie (and whatever other poses there may be out there...I was afraid to google beyond the lingerie photos!) Surely he didn't pick her out of a lineup of women whose daily attire consisted of denim jumpers, long skirts, long hair tied back into buns. He knew who she was before they got together! What's his complaint now!

And then I think about young mothers who insist on treating their young daughters as "little princess". A princess of inestimable physical beauty who is deserving of adulation from every family member...and then from every person outside the family, including every male within sight. Don't they know they're grooming her, setting her up to this un-idealistic idea of womanhood?

Whatever happened to teaching modesty and covering our children for their own protection from those who would like to do them harm? Don't we realize by now, after countless headlines, that there are perverts everywhere! Our daughters should not be taught to parade themselves in today's version of "body-baring-beauty" at such young age.

Okay. My mind is rambling here...from one topic to another. But I hope you will go to read my earlier post about protecting your children. Read it here.

(If I seem a bit rambly's because this is my brain on chemo drugs. Tomorrow will be a different matter...I'll have crashed flat.)


Kelly said...

Reconstructive surgery is something my older daughter and I have discussed along with preventive mastectomy, mastectomy vs. lumpectomy, etc. She works as an RN in chemo and day-surgery at our local hospital and is quite vocal in her opinions (with me, at least).

I don't guess you ever really know what you'll do in any given situation until you're there.

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

great post...I was just in a store looking at magazines...It's not one, its all of them. I had a breast reduction ten years ago and never regretted it for a minute....solved a lot of back problems....and insurance paid every dime...

but I see Moms getting their 14 and 15 year old girls boobs and.....It just blows me away...

melissa said...

We've taught all three of our girls to be modest...and considering they have 5 brothers, it just makes sense.

Thanks for the thought-provoking post.

You take care. :)

Linda said...

Great post--I went back to read your past entry. I teach in a elementary school that has grades 3-6. Too often we need to go to the nurses closet to find sweatshirts or t-shirts to have the girls put on over their clothes. As I am now shopping for my 2 1/2 year old granddaughter, I am appalled at the "sexy" clothes even being sold for toddlers.

Tina said...

Good post, as always! Regarding reconstruction, I have about a year to figure out what I want to do. My plan is to do what ever will make my life easiest! (And I've already decided being lopsided ain't it!)
I have 3 daughters, 25, 22, and 18. They all are Godly, modest women,(well, maybe not covered to their necks, as I would like!) and I thank the Lord every day for them. But raising them to be modest wasn't an easy task! I have reminded them often, we are to be IN the world, not OF it!

Glenda said...

I've never had to face breast cancer and the decisions that follow, so I can't say what I'd do. And I've never raised girls - just two boys! But I have two sweet granddaughters, and I'm so thankful that their parents have taught them modesty.

I agree with you . . . it is so disturbing to see the way some little girls are allowed to dress - and how they are affected by media portrayal of girls/women today.

Debbie said...

Very nicely said my friend.

Gregg said...

Very good post about an epidemic problem! If I have read it right there are at least three issues I observed:

1) I can not imagine what it must be like to have such a horrid disease and then be required to make such life-changing decisions about reconstruction and etc. Each person needs to think carefully through as many ramifications as possible and do what is best for themselves and not for others.

2) Society is fixated (?) on appearance. Samuel had to deal with it when Israel clammered for Saul, who has head and shoulders above other men to be their first earthy King. Then when Samuel was told to annoint Saul's sucessor, Jesse thought his oldest surely would be a handsome, tall, strapping specimen. But God said He looked on the heart and what was in man while man looked on the outside. So, a young ruddy country bumpkin shepherd was annoited to be King.

Needless to say, with today's emphasis on appearance, every magazine rack is blatanly and brazenly depicting an ideal that even isn't real. Even with all the "work", implants, augmentation, etc. - air brushing still rules the day. Sadly, our young ladies are pushed to this from a young age with the images in cartoons, TV shows geared to them and the recording "stars."

3) Our opinion of ourselves and our value as a human being should not be set by public opinion. Raising children today is a major struggle and battle. Influences and images are everywhere and need to be deflected as values and morals are taught. I am glad my girls are adults today, but now I worry, pray, and try to help coach my grandchildren.

Anonymous said...

Great post. I agree with a lot of what you said and the comments here! ~Whidbey Woman

Marydon said...

I can add nothing except ~ YOU ARE SPOT ON with your write. TY for a great post.

Hope things are going along well for you. I do think of you in prayers.
Have a beautiful Monday.
TTFN ~ Hugs, Marydon

Bill said...

Good article - one to make all of us guys who love the adult female form to do some thinking, to remind us how much more important is our love for the person than for the ornaments of the body.

As much as I do love the adult female form, I hate to see little girls sexualized. The other day, I was looking at an online photo magazine that I like that also includes a bit of video photography.

One artist had done videos taken two years apart of an adolescent girl dancing in a very sexual way. The point the artist claimed to want to make was pretty much the same as yours, but I could not watch those videos. I started them out and then just had to turn those videos off.

ce_squared said...

That post was spot on! So many people take for granted or abuse their bodies. And then there are those who would be thankful not to ever go to chemo again, nevermind reconstructive surgery.

Debby said...

Everyone has the right to make their own decisions.

I agree with your views on the children. Little girls walk about in very grown up attire, and I don't think it is healthy. I don't think it is healthy for children to think about being sexy when they are 6. Or 10. Our children have lost a great deal of their childhood to a world that rushes them along way too quickly.

Mel Gibson? He's not a nice person. It does not surprise me that the women he attracts are not nice people either. You reap what you sow.

Debby said...

Hey, there, WhiteStone. I've been a little worried about you. Hope everything is well.