Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Twenty One - And How I Am Grateful

Strange how we see gratefulness more easily when we have come through the fire of suffering. If you've not been following my blog you may not know that 2009 was the year of Ovarian Cancer at our house. Surgery. Hospital stays. Fears of more surgery. Chemo. Aches, pains, weakness, loss of hair, daily shots of neupogen to boost the white blood count. And all the while hoping that I would not catch a cold or flu. My immune system was often at its lowest ebb and any illness would have easily landed me in the hospital.

Today it is 20 weeks since my last chemo session. During that time I have regained strength. Mentally, physically, and spiritually. Currently my cancer is at a stable place. This stability may last a few weeks or it may last years. Only God knows. He holds all my days in His hands and I am learning, day by day, to leave my worries and concerns there.

So today, while I am preparing for 21 guests and while I am bustling about the kitchen, putting pies in the oven, pre-cooking the turkey, cutting veggies, baking dinner rolls, I am amazed how good I feel. I am grateful for this year. And for tomorrow, family, good food. And for the knowledge that God is Sovereign and in control of all. My path is laid before me and I will walk it day by day. Good days. And bad days. And all the while I will continue to bow down and be grateful to God for all things. Even cancer.

You might think it strange to be thankful for cancer. But, you see, it is in the darkest moments when we finally relinquish our desire to control our own lives and when we finally give up on our own plans. And when you are able to bow down, then your worship is best.

Isaiah 43
1
But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

3 For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.


8 comments:

Dorothy said...

Yes! I know exactly what you mean, Whitestone! He works ALL THINGS for the good of those who love Him.

Karen said...

You've selected some of my favorite verses. And your post hits the nail on the head. God is in control, every minute of each day, even in the midst of the flames of cancer. Blessings to you and your family as you celebrate "life" this Thanksgiving!

Kelly said...

Beautiful!!

Thanksgiving blessings to you and your household.

Michelle said...

I'm so glad you are bustling around your kitchen preparing for guests...God is SO GOOD! And I have to tell you...that is my favorite verse ever. xoxoxo

l'optimiste said...

What a year you've had. Mine was 2008. You will feel even better this time next year!
Sending you strength - and looking forward to seeing pics of the 21 strong dinner party :o)
We don't have Thanksgiving here in the UK...perhaps I'll start a new trend next year. Why not? Any celebration has got to be good!

Forrest said...

Amen!

Debby said...

I understand. I felt so glad to be preparing this meal that I actually got teary eyed to myself a couple of times.

Tina said...

Love the verse.
Some people think its strange when I tell them how blessed I feel. Each day is such a joy (well, except for my worst chemo days!:) Going through this has made me realize just how blessed I am, and for that I am very thankful.