When News is Not News

Really!!! How do some of the major news networks determine which stories they will feature on the nightly news! Surely within our fifty states there must be countless news stories that will interest the masses. But instead of reporting about important things (such as some local agency reducing the crime rate within a fifty mile radius of a local school and how other communities can do the same), these major networks report the silliest news.

For instance, yesterday's headlines read "Two Wives Divorce Husband at Same Time". Thinking some guy was caught committing bigamy I click and find out this took place in Kuala Lumpur, Maylasia. What!! Does Fox News maintain a local correspondent in Kuala Lumpur? And if so, does he find this the most interesting news he can find for the day? Some people may find this marital tidbit interesting but surely they will be disappointed when they see no accompanying photograph of the ex-brides.

How about "Toddlers Can No Longer Marry in Arkansas"! What is this? Age discrimination? LOL. Actually lawmakers passed a bill last year that mistakenly allowed anyone of any age to marry without parental permission. They're simply correcting their mistake. In the meantime I wonder how many Arkansas three-year-olds applied for marriage licenses last year!

Now I will admit that "Woman Bites Pit Bull to Save Dog's Life" sounds a bit more newsworthy! That's definitely a must read! And read it I did. Wow! That Woman Rules! She not only bit! She drew blood! Whew!!!

I hate to even mention the articles on "how many minutes" are appropriate for marital bliss nor "umpteen ways to please your mate in bed or under the bed or in someone else's bed". No, sirree, I've been married long enough to know that is a highly personal matter and I really don't care how many minutes the next-door neighbors prefer nor whose bed they sleep in.

There are scary headlines, too, something to the effect of "Man Goes to Surgery to Remove Left Toe and Instead Has Right Eye Removed"... or "Woman Goes In For Tummy Tuck and Has Both Thumbs Removed Instead". You get the drift. Surgery at its best with Surgeons of Renown. I've cancelled three scheduled surgeries in the past week just because of those headlines. (Just Kidding!)

I would like to spend a day at Fox News with the managing editor to see how and under what influence he chooses the headlines for the day. Maybe I could give him a few pointers as to what is "real news".

I much preferred the days when "news" was "News" and not gossip, editorializing, or politicizing.

By the way, one more mention of any one of several famous blonde bombshell escapades and I puke. Do you suppose if that happens, I will make the news?
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