Monday, August 3, 2009

I Don't Care What Color It Is, I Want Some Hair!

When I began my chemotherapy late last February I asked the nurse, "Does everyone who takes this particular chemo (carbo/taxel) lose their hair?" You see, I was hoping I would be one of the lucky few who might miss out on this particular aspect of chemotherapy.
White Hair before
She looked at me with a mixture of sympathy, matter-of-factness, and certainty. Then she responded. "Yes."

I could see by her eyes she wanted and needed to give me the truth, regardless of how much I wanted to hear otherwise. Up until that moment I was hoping that maybe SOME patients, myself included, might escape the norm. But when she looked at me like that and answered with that one-word answer, I Knew. Every last one of these gray hairs would be lost.

I can truthfully tell you, "I'm just glad the chemo doesn't cause us to lose our teeth!" For it would indeed be bad to lose teeth. Teeth do not grow back. Hair does. ("I hope!", she said with a wry smile.Bald head after)

I see friends who are several months further down the road than I. Their hair is growing back. Sometimes a little patchy. Sometimes slowly. But growing! I rejoice with them!

In the meantime I've completed my six rounds of chemo. I will be continuing to receive the trial drug Avastin (or a placebo, neither I nor my doctor knows which) but the trial drug will have no effect on my hair and it should begin growing back. I figure it will take about 3 months before I can truthfully say "I have hair!".

I can't, shouldn't, and won't complain! No, Sirree! No complaining! Just commenting!

And then I think of today's scripture. Luke 12:7 "Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered."

Yeah, and in my case, at the moment, that number is practically zero! (She said very quietly, determining not to be impertinent before God!)


Elle Bee said...

You had (and will have again!) gorgeous hair. But I must say, you have a beautiful bald head. It's perfectly shaped.

Thanks for sharing your journey with us. I respect and admire your faith and strength.

Drug or placebo, the Lord bless you and keep you.

Joshua said...

Wow, I really appreciate your joy in this - the connection to Luke 12:7, amazing. God has blessed you with much grace.


Roxanne said...

Awww. So perfect. I never thought of the losing your teeth comparison. Guess we should be thankful!! I'm only a short step ahead of you in the hair process, but like you I just want hair!! Blessings to you:)

Dawn (dandy) said...

Bwaha! your response about your hairs being numbered was so perfect!

Love the bald head pic, love the previous gorgeous hair pic.

It will come back and it'll be beeeeyoootiful!

Glynis said...

Don't worry your hair will be in for sure within 3 months. I can't believe how curly (and greyish) my hair is now. People keep asking if I had a perm! It looks like you had gorgeous straight hair pre-chemo. How do you feel about curls? Blessings and joy x

Daria said...

I looked great before and will look great again.